Will giraffe fetus powder capsules help me to grow taller?
Aug 29, 2010 in
Health FAQs
I’ll be turning 15 next week and I’m still only approximately 4’9" and haven’t grown at all in the last six months. My second cousin’s friend’s brother’s babysitter’s illegitimate child’s father recently informed me that I can purchase ground giraffe fetus powder tablets online and they can help to stimulate my growth through hormone therapy and black magic. I searched around but I’ve been unable to locate the giraffe supplements online. Where can I purchase them?
Thanks and Allah be praised.
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7 comments
Tink on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
I thought this was some kind of joke until I saw the black magic reference, and then I knew you were bonafide….But oh-no….this case is far beyond needing booyah powder
First off someone put a hoodoo on you for sure. So you need to get yourself a bar of double fast luck soap and wash your butt down with that – only one cheek darling, ya want to get some of the funk off ya, but its not as if you want to be fresh as a daisy for this sort of thing – its voodoo after all – helps to be just a little nitty-gritty. Kind of builds up your personal mojo….(more later)
http://www.luckymojo.com/fastlucksoap.html
After that, you need to wash down all the walls and floors everyday for a week – none of that pine-sol or clorox stuff, uh-unh. Nope – you are going to need the all out power of the seven African sisters on your side to send that evil back from where it came….
http://www.indioproducts.com/webstore/product_info.php?cPath=348_350&products_id=6355
Alright, now we are ready for whats called "laying tricks". Its a little known fact that Moses was the Great Voodoo man of the bible – so you need to pick up a "hand of God root" (otherwise known as "mumbo jumbo" in the creole tongue) and rub this down with as much graveyard dirt and black cat feces as possible (we’re gonna conjure up Baron Samedi for ya, while he might not answer your request, he is an interesting party guest. I mean you could end up a zombie, but….nothing ventured, nothing gained, right??!?!?) So now that you have your root, go over and pick up the 8th book of Moses (There aren’t 8 books of Moses you say? – this is TOP SECRET stuff – but I’m willing to give you a link to a copy right here, just between me and you)
http://www.hermetics.org/pdf/grimoire/Eighth_Book_of_Moses.pdf
Alright, now go to page 4, draw a circle on the floor in chalk, sit in it, and drink a tumbler of whiskey while smoking a cigar and eating grilled peanuts (the Barons favorite stuff!) – And do as instructed in that full sentence in English.
Alright if you can manage all that so far – check back next tuesday and I’ll let you know what to do about your mojo…be sure not to wash that other cheek till then, okay? That would just mess everything ALL up…seriously.
*Yes* on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
you are amazing.
Keyon Dooling on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
I have never heard of this and to be quite honest i think that person you are talking about lied to you. Lied right to your face.
ssmesq on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
I think you should ask your third cousin’s co-worker’s handyman’s mechanic’s sister. She knows where to get them.
Nitram on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
only in homoeopathic doses. You need a 30C of inglise dwarfisoma
Lightning on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
And this question is yet another plant……
I’m going to star it so lots more people can see how stupid this question is.
Romeo on August 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm
If you want to be taller just set that goal. Don’t think bad thoughts that you will forever be short just set your head into believing you’ll grow, believe me it works. The mind has not limit when used properly. Don’t try those things that stretch you out, they just pop your joints, and don’t try steroids they won’t work. l’ m 24 and i am 6’0 , my father 5’7 and mum 5’4. l was the same height as my father 8 months ago and l was always told that l would not grow over 5’7 , the height can’t be controlled , height was determined by your genetic ,inheritance etc. i was really fed up with these narrow- minded people around me and l hit the road for a solution. l have researched books , doctors and internet high and low for increasing height, and tried many growth boosters. From my experience what worked on me :
1. Eat lots of Broccoli.
2. Eat at least 250gr yougurt every day.
3. Regular Swimming helps.
4. Sleep without pillows, and sleep at least 8 hrs daily.
5. Super-Growth works http://www.growtallersupplements.net or http://www.super-growth.org
6. Use an inversion table for 20- 30 minutes every day.
Follow the tips above and you’ll grow a few inches taller regardless of your age.
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