How should one treat a friend or family member who has depression?
Sep 05, 2010 in
Health FAQs
I don’t necessarily mean medical treatment. Of course, the patient in my case is already on medication. Rather I am referring to how family and friends should act towards someone who is depressed. Is it best to try to be specially sensitive to that person? Or is it better to pretend nothing is wrong and simply behave "normally" to that person? Is one’s conduct towards the depressed person irrelevant as long as the person is on medication?
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
12 comments
daughter_helping on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
Allow them space to participate in things they want to. Your behaviour absolutely has an effect when dealing with someone with depression, either on or off medication.
Sometimes you’ll hear them talk about very painful things, and maybe you’re afraid you won’t know how to answer. In this case, which is common, let them know you care and want to help, but don’t know how.
Take depression seriously. This is an illness which can be controlled with medication and/or therapy. Research more about depression. The more you know, the better you can handle your situation. Too many people have misbeliefs about this illness. I’ve heard many incorrect things from ignorant people. It’s not your job to "fix" the depression, but you certainly can help your patient by understanding what they are facing, every day.
One of the worst things you can say is, they are lazy and don’t want to change. Pretending nothing is wrong, I wouldn’t suggest. Gently asking questions to ensure they’ve taken their medication is ok. Being extra sensitive can be helpful, however, you may tire of this extra effort on your part, when you don’t see results.
I think the best thing you can do is educate yourself about depression. This link will give you an idea of what we/they think. It’s very difficult for some people to understand. Of course, everyone has depressing situations in life, however, most people can overcome those situations and return to a functioning life. For others, it just takes longer, or a lot longer, and some may never recover fully.
clipperschamp on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
just be yourself and be supportive as well
Michael B on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
No. As a person who has suffered from depression and still does (me), talk to him and make him feel like he is very important as a person and family member. Take it from experience.
the_only_solorose on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
medication only does part of the job. The clinically depressed patient needs to be seeing a therapist regularly to work on some of the issues that contribute to the depression. Family can be helpful by encouraging this. Otherwise, treat them normally, and insist they behave in a normal fashion around you, there is no reason they cannot do this.
Denise W on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
This is a serious medical condition actually.
You need to live life normally and with compassion and acceptance that this person will not meet the expectaitions that will be placed on them at times. You may never understand "honestly" the mental issues or chemistry of this condition. So you must adapt to the way YOU will best prepare and accept this condition within you home.
Act normally, yet don’t lie about the Elephant in the room. Address the issue with the person and ASK them- How best can I help in this situation? I care and don’t know what to do? That will work.
jennainhiding on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
LOL – of course it’s not irrelevant as long as they’re on medication. Okay so I take medication for the depression – you beat me for hours every day – You think this is irrelevant?
Okay, well, now um, anyway, back to the question – you shoudl treat them like shit. tell them what a loser they are. tell them to stop acting this way. tell them theyare worthless and dont’ deserve to live….
No wait, that was wrong. Don’t fu($)*)#( treat us special or different – if it gets to the point where you are walking on egg shells around them, it’s time to let them go. I dont’ care if they are long time friend/family member whateer — if it’s going to affect your life and mind in too negative of a way, don’t waste your time. WE TEACH people how to treat us. If you dont’ call them on their rudeness or inapproriate behaviors they ar ento goinig to change – you wil l repeatedly be miserable – why waste the time and effrot?
aotea s on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
It’s best to behave normally. No your not irrelevant, and your conduct towards the person on a normal basis is very important.
He does not want to be seen as an invalid eg or anything else.
Just be yourself and converse with the person normally as you have done over the years.
What the person requires is a day to day info, particularly if the person is not working and has taken some time off.
they may want some time to be alone but in some cases, it’s also a good idea to take them out for dinner or a trip sometimes help.
Good luck and say hi
♦cat on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
there should be some support groups that should give you resources on how to deal with family battling depression. i remember when im taking psychiatric nursing, we have encountered revolving-door-syndrome, when psyche patients go home and get back to their previous condition.when they go home, and it was because in the hospital they are in structured environment where staff are trained to deal with them, then they go back to an unstructured environment..then they have a relapse, so yeah, family members play an important role towards their complete recovery
tinydancer on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
my best advice would be DONT continually ask WHATS WRONG!!! or ARE YOU OK??? thats like the worst thing to do. just talk to them, listen if they need it, sometimes you just need to leave them alone. if you love them and are willing to do whats best for them, you need to LISTEN to their needs when they tell them to you.
oh and dont patronize.
judles on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
Treat him as you would anyone, his depression could worsen if he feels that he is being treated ‘differently’
liebekatz2 on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
Whatever you do, don’t say to the person "Just snap out of it", or stuff like "If you really put your mind to it, you can get over it". I’ve heard stuff like that often enough and it doesn’t help. Show that you care, take this person seriously, offer to help when help is needed and/or wanted.
ruthie flowers on September 5, 2010 at 12:56 am
The depressed person is just having a difficult time in their life right now, emotionally and physically ,medication will calm down the "rattled nerves as i call it" and in time will recover. So you treat the person as you did before,only this time let him-her know that you can be called if they want to talk or might need a ride to the doctor. They will appreciate your time and understanding.
You must be logged in to post a comment.